What in the hell is so cool about grocery stores? Is it a man thing? Is it just an Otis thing? I love getting up kinda early and going to the supermarket and buying some a foods. I guess there is a part of me that wants to be adventurous with food but perhaps i'm scared. Who will prepare this food for me? Thanks to my old fashioned southern Mom, i've been rendered completely helpless in the kitchen. I can make a mean grilled cheese and tomato soup dinner though. And Stouffers french bread pizza. Damn good stuff.
Drinking American beer is like drinking dirty water. Newcastle Brown Ale is the best stuff around. It's only 9:30pm EST and i'm five beers into a sixer. Completely alone. Is this the beginning of alcoholism?
I've become really disenchanted with the band. With music in general. Why is it so hard to feel on the same page as everyone else? It's not rocket science. Music shouldn't have to be explained. It should be felt, with every fiber of your being. If you have to talk about it too much then it isn't working. Is it possible for five painters to colaborate on a painting? Do we have too many chiefs? Will I ever feel the way I used to feel? It just seems like it used to be easy. Before, we weren't even trying. Just having a good time. Emulating our favorite bands and trying to rule the world. Everything is different. I know i'm too young to be cynical but I really feel like that pop-culturalized cliche of "it used to be about the music, man" applies to me. At times it feels like we are all battling to be in a different band. Whenever I think about quitting and going it alone all I can think about is the hassle involved. I don't want to be the guy in charge, pushing shows, recording, and writing new songs. I guess you could say this frustration or disenchantment comes from a serious case of writers block. Maybeit's more. Maybe i'm just not living up to my potential. I always second guess any piece of music that I write. Overthinking overanalyzing seperate the body from the mind...
Maybe we are just too old. You can't teach an old dog new tricks right? Even now I can't think of what it is exactly that makes me want to just forget about the whole thing. Ofcourse, one might think that the obligation to my family is weighing heavily on my back. I don't feel like i'm neglecting anyone though. Mandy always lets me know when my time is being improperly spent. And when it gets out of hand we fix it. All these weekends alone make me understand that I would hate it if I wasn't in the band. I think it's more the thought of being a part of something bigger than myself. I realize that most people probably think Ground:Xero is a joke. I know how that shit goes between bands. Musicians are shitty and flaky. All of them. I'm speaking for myself ofcourse. I think a LOT of people are turned off by the keyboards. The ultimate question? Is it worth my time?!? How the fuck should I know? So many crappy, crappy bands get signed and make a million or so off of one catchy tune. It's hard to say when a person should give this up. What do you gauge it by? If you were to gauge the success of our band by the successes of other bands in Atlanta, i'd say we should have given up a while ago. Either that or lay low for a while and come back with full stacks and kick everyones ass. I don't know.
I think the live sound has a lot to do with with. It has to! Right? I mean if one band is louder than the other, no matter what, you are going to remember that band as being the loudest at show x or y. Money. Get back.
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